This is a continuation – and conclusion to – Why the Hell Do You Get out of Bed In the Morning? which discusses my path to finding Internet Marketing, Digital Journalism & Niche Content Development. I previously discussed that I always had a hard time “conforming” in the professional workplace, and finally decided joining the Air Force would help me become a more productively normal member conformed to society.
Yea, so let’s bypass my futile attempts to join; I never did. I was disqualified several times, despite my high ASVAB scores and the fact that I have U.S. Citizenship, no drug history plus clean criminal record. Even wowing the recruiters with my brilliant bowstaff skills wasn’t enough to get me to MEPS.
I became an Air Force wife, close enough for some women, not closer enough for me. I wanted my own uniform, not have secret temper tantrums defiantly playing dress-up in my husband’s. I wanted to wear what I felt was the ultimate symbol that said I achieved the accomplishment of successfully converting to a life of success and conformity.
Living on base killed me at times; I felt like a diabetic captive living in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory: everything I wanted was right in front of me, but off limits.
Never meant to be “part of that world,” or “good enough to fit in and live a normal life,” I blamed myself. I spent a long period wallowing in my own gloomy darkness (publicly termed depression), trying to figure out where I could force myself to fit.
Then, one day I recognized that was the problem: forcing myself.
Square Pegs, Round Holes
Naturally, I’m resistant to doing things like everyone else. I’d like to blame it on a number of things, including my zodiac sign (Aquarius, fixed), but regardless of what’s to blame, I’ve never been anything other than leader in my own marching band, and every time I’ve tried to hand the role over to someone else, I’ve had disastrous results.
Accepting this knowledge, I shifted my gears to focus on creating a path that I didn’t have to force on myself, but that worked for me. I dabbled in a lot of different fields, from security to real estate. I eventually stumbled onto something mystery shopping, which is great when you develop a system to doing it.
One day, playing around with my friend Domenica, I stumbled into Internet Marketing. We had this idea to totally create a spinoff site likeDon’t Date Him Girl. Girl He’s Married was meant to specifically put cheating husbands on blast, simply because we got a rush of excitement from shows like Cheaters. We were totally planning to become female Joey Grecos.
So, uh, yeah, that didn’t happen either. (Damn this litigious society!) But, instead of completely canning the idea, I discovered that one of the great opportunities for Internet Marketing is that with enough creativity, I could literally make money with anything. Anything. Did you hear me?
It doesn’t matter what I talk about; with Internet Marketing – our digital age period- I could literally sit at home, or in a hotel, or on a cruise ship… or on perched atop my neighbor’s roof with binoculars (they say find your quiet place, right?)… make money and legitimately become successful… totally being myself in the process.
And that’s exactly what I do. Mostly. And I’m ecstatic. I work more now than I did when I was employed. And I love every second. (Mostly.)
Look at Me Now, Look At Me Now…
Looking back, I can see this all happened for a reason. Living the existence I previously wanted, would have made me miserable.
You know those jobs that are so bad you dream about how fucked up they are, only to wake up and realize it’s time to go in? Do that long enough and you start to wonder, “Why the hell do I get out of bed in the morning?” That was me – with every job I had after a while. So if I got what I wanted and joined the Air Force, I might have been okay “getting by” on an average lifestyle, but I wouldn’t have been fulfilled, and I wouldn’t have lasted long. I might have become a statistic.
Today, I can say I’ve “found myself.” (Corny, cliche, but true.) I’m not simply an Internet Marketer, per se. While I graduated from Full Sail with an IMMS, I consider myself a digital publisher. My focus isn’t forcing myself out of my element, but choosing an area of passion for high quality content development that captivates my target audience and yields profit as a result.
Why the Hell Do You Get out Of Bed in the Morning?
If you haven’t found the (happy, ecstatic) why, then now is the time to.
Perhaps you’re repressing your passion for the sake of being who you’ve felt you needed to be in order to get by. Maybe you’re considering a side hustle to eliminate your 9-to-5, but you’re not sure how to start. Maybe you just feel hopeless about your own situation, because you have people depending on you to provide for them.
We’ve all been there; it’s part of the journey. On my journey now, I’ll admit there are times I’m still struggling. Difference is now the dark periods are worth it, because I’ve committed to doing what I love as opposed to forcing myself out of my element. If I can make it, you can too. Dead ass. (That means “serious” for those who are slang-illiterate.)
If you’re really miserable with your current position, ask yourself what you want to do instead, find a plan to work towards it, and every damn day, just do it. Start now. Answer the question.